Hush your mouth

Well this weekend at work was interesting. It was crazy busy. I have realized that I work WAY too hard at the nursing home compared to the work that I do at the hospital.
The worst part of my weekend was when I co-worker asked me "are you expecting?". Expecting what?, lol a baby. Geez, thanks, I know I have put on some weight, but seriously? Maybe its the wake up call that I need. Time to get my fat ass back to the gym...unless she is clairvoyant and knows something that I don't know.

Dream a little dream

Last night I had an amazing dream...yet it was like a fast forwarded version of my childhood. It was the best dream I have ever had. There were so many little details and things that I had long since forgotten that were SO real in my dream, that when I woke up, I questioned if they really had happened to me in real life? Unfortunately, my memory is horrible and I am not sure if all I saw in the dream had happened. Either way the dream was pleasant and happy. It was like I saw my childhood from the time I was 10 to 14. I wish I could remember more of it...sadly that's the bad thing about dreams, I rarely remember much of them

Snap, Crackle, Pop

Well my back is finally on the mend, thanks to the Chiropracter. I was a little bit skeptic at first, but I am feeling much better. I am not 100%, but I am getting there. I like the Popping sound that my back and neck make at the Chiropracter office. I get a little tense when he wants to do my neck, but when I relax I am able to get good results.

On Bedrest :(

So I woke up on Monday morning at 6 am to let the dog out and my back was a little sore. No big deal, I had been pulling weeds and digging up some dead bushes in Dave's front yard. I went back to bed and when I got up again around 11-ish, I could barely move. I was going to let the dog out, but I stopped to pick up a few things off of the floor and wham...i couldn't move without excruating pain in my lower back. So there I was stuck on the floor, with a giddy puppy, sitting on a pile of dirty clothes, crying. I was miserable. I managed to scoot my bottom across the floor and into the hallway. Stewie (my puppy) wandered into Steve's room (my Boyfriends roommate) and got him up. So there was on the floor crying in agony and Steve offered to help me. All i asked of him was to let the dog out. He called Stewie to follow him down the stairs, he'd take a few steps and come right back to his momma, he wasn't gonna leave me. How fricking cute is THAT. Dogs are SO loyal it amazes me. Steve finally had to pick him up to take him outside. While he was outside I managed to get my self into the bathroom, which was not a minute to soon I might add.
I texted Dave and he came home to help me. He gave me Motrin 800 and Flexeral and fixed me some peanut butter toast, so I didn't get an upset tummy from the meds. He piled all of the pillows up on my side of the bed so i could be comfy, brought me some soda and told me to call him or Steve if I needed anything. I slept most of the day...to try and aignore my aching back. I called into work, because I couldn't move, going to the bathroom was a major event. I managed to work my way downstairs for dinner and was back into bed for the night. He grabbed a bunch of stuff from my house for me and was SO accomodating. My man is da BOMB! He has been the best.
I went to urgent care today and they were pretty helpful. I think the shot of solumedrol and the shot of toradol in each hip was the key. I can now stand up like a human being! It was awful sitting in the car to get to the Dr., but it was worth it. Unfortunately, i had to call off work again. I HATE doing that, because I know that it screws other people over, plus I love my job.
I should be ready to go back to work tonight...i can't stand lying here in bed.
It is truly a blessing to find such an awesome guy who can/will take care of me when I am under the weather, it truly shows how awesome he is, I am SO lucky.

The follow through

I am so excited and proud of myself.
Last year, when I got my 1st nursing job at the nuring home, I said to myself and many other's around me, "I'm going to work here for a year and then get a job in the hospital". Well I did it!
I was hired a few weeks ago at Huron Valley Sinai. I start on Monday. It is so exciting and rewarding on following through on my dreams!

Healthcare...?

I have often wondered and have become increasing perplexed by the number of Healthcare professionals that smoke.
My workplace is a huge example and it makes me worry/giggle at the same time. I have never smoked, so maybe that is why I just don't get it. But as healthcare professionals and knowing even more so the dangers of smoking 1st hand, why do they do it?
I think it's just for the 15 minute break, which is also sad in its own right!

On the road to nowhere

I just had 5 days off and it was wonderful.
It was so nice to not have any plans and just pick up and go where the wind blows. My 5 days started off with a canoe/camping trip which was fun like always. I love spending time with my family and friends. No major injuries down the river either. Dave managed to not steer me into too many tree branches or cause me any injuries, which is always a plus.
The weekend was quite interesting. My grandpa was talking marriage for me and Dave, which cracks me up. Its pretty cool to see how much more supportive my family is of this newer relationship than they were in the past. I guess it shows that we are great together. Its so nice to finally have a relationship in which we BOTH adore one another and not just one way around. I do adore him...terribly, more than I think he knows.
After the canoe trip, we had 2 days to do whatever we wanted...so we went exploring. We went to Marshall, michigan and saw all of the older homes. It would be awesome to live there someday. Its so nice to see some history.
We stayed in a jacuzzi hotel room that night and relaxed. The jacuzzi was a nice relief for all of the bug bites I acquired this weekend. We hadn't planned anything for tuesday and Dave decided that I our vacation wasn't over. We headed up to Frankenmuth and Birch Run for some outlet shopping and dinner. I was so tired from the day that i slept all of the way home in the car. It was a fabulous 5 days off!

The great Tattoo debate

Called me old fashioned, but I am not excited about tattoo's. Yes I do have a tiny little one on my back and yes, I am contemplated getting another one, but I think they are getting out of control. I am getting SO tired of people crying about being accepted in society no matter what. Social stigma's exist everywhere around us and its gonna happen.
I have this great tattoo debate with one of my friends on a regular basis everytime I see him. He's in nursing school and REALLY wants to work in pediatrics when he's done. While we were on vacation together he got his first tattoo on his wrist, which I wasn't to keen on. I was much more worried about what it might do to this chances to do what he loves in the future. The next one he got was on his forearm, a huge faux pax if you ask me.
This where the old fashioned part of me comes out and I sound like an old lady, but first of all, as a mother, I wouldn't feel comfortable having a 6 foot, male nurse taking care of my kid. Secondly, especially not one covered in tattoo's. I don't care if he was totally awesome at his job, I'd be turned off by appearance. I know, its sad that I feel this way, but I am sure I am not alone on this one. I just wish people would stop and reconsider what affects having all kinds of visible tat's might have on them.
Enough rants for today.

Turning 35...

Another birthday tomorrow and I am excited about it. I am not excited about turning 35...but since I turned 30 every birthday that I have had is another reminder that I still don't have what I REALLY want and that's a baby.
I think I have found the perfect man right now and things couldn't be more wonderful. So maybe...I'll hear the pitter patter of little feet in my future and wedding bells. I could totally see it happening.
So what have I learned in the past 35 years?
I have learned a ton of tough lessons in my lifetime. I've loved, I've lost and I've rebuilt myself from a mess. I am slowly working on clearing up my credit and finally getting my head above water. Boy...did I have a FUN time in my 20's! I did so many things. Why is though, despite all that I have done, I still want more? Take travelling for instance, I could check every place off my "want to visit" list and it still wouldn't be enough. I love going new place and seeing new things. I also LOVE returning to old places that have my heart, I'll never get tired of travelling, I love it so.
I have learned (and am still trying to master this concept), that your workplace will not fall and crumble to the ground if you aren't there. I am a workaholic...I know this, it sucks. I wonder about what's happening when I am not there, I worry about what's going to be screwed up when I return, I worry that i forgot to do something important...its just work! I have to remind myself of that everyday. I am not management, but often feel like i think like one all of the time.
I have learned that losing weight will always be an uphill battle for me and it will likely never be easy for me. I need to practice patience and consistency in my life in this area specifically.
I have learned that my family is one of the best gifts I could have ever gotten in this lifetime. They support me 100% and are always there for me, I am truly blessed to have been surrounded and raised by such awesome people.
I am often told, you don't look 35! Which is becoming a great compliment, but still can't make the years turn back and correct all of the mistakes I have made. I have no regrets, but with wisdom in my pocket, I would do so many things differently.
Can't wait to see what this next year brings.

Texting

Since I have met Dave, I have succombed to texting...big time. I learned the hard way that I didn't have a good texting plan and have ended up paying $150 in text fees...Ouch!
This is one of the best texts that I have gotten: From Dave: U R the best combination of every kind of girlfriend.

How cute is that? He is just awesome.

When did get so brave?

I went to a Pure Romance party the other night at a friends house and it was funny. When the demonstrator asked for volunteers everyone got all quiet...so I volunteered. I was asked to lie on the floor and be "the man". I assumed the position of my hands behind my head and another woman (the hostess' mother) was the chick, who was going to demonstrate this "love chair". When she sat on it, she fell off of the chair and on me and just about broke my penis (as I was holding this blue dong). Then the demonstrator also demonstrated with it to show the other ladies the positions that could be done with it. When I got up, I retired my dong and exclaimed "whew I am tired, I just had 2 chicks in 5 minutes!". Everyone laughed.
Near the end of the night they asked for more volunteers and again no one would speak up, so I again took one for the team and volunteered. This time I was demonstrating the door sex swing. It was very weird. I don't think I see a door swing in my future. I don't know when I got so brave, but it was fun. Maybe I have embraced my role as an educator and have just thrown my shyness to the wind.

Dinner Conversations

Last friday I went out with Dave and we had a pizza. It was a fairly casual place and has great pizza. I have no idea how, but we ended up discussing celebrities. This then turned into the age old question, which celebrities would you bone if you could?
Not the most appropriate topic for dinner discussion, but like most things with Dave and I, everything open and out there for the talking. I was fairly surprised by his answers which were: Monica Lewinsky, Diane Sawyer and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Monica Lewinsky, are you serious? I cracked up. To each their own I suppose. But then I got to thinking and mine aren't the typical men either. My answers were: Seth Rogen, Pete Sampras, JFK Jr. and Matthew McConaughey. I am sure most people would think, Seth Rogen are you serious...but I think he is totally adorable.
Our conversation then came to who would like to hang out with, dead or alive, just to hang out in a non sexual way? My answer was Chris Farley, I think he would have been hilarious to have as a buddy.
At the table next to us was an Indian family and i was watching them during most of the meal. I commented on how I really like their family structure. I like how the children respect and take care of the parents and how the family is large and does stuff together and seem to enjoy each other's company. What happened to our values and an american family? Did we ever have this? It was a little puzzling to me to think about it all. What is an American family and what values do we teach our children? Oy...it was too much for one dinner. Dave and I both agreed that most cultures have this sense of family pride, except for americans, it made me a little sad.

Are you serious?

I am fairly sure that things can't get any better than they are right now. I have a great job, a cool place to live, good health, a wonderful family and a fabulous man. I feel so lucky to have it all.
Things with Dave and I are fantastic. He is everything I ever wanted and more. Who knew I'd find someone that lived across the street. I just got back from a mini vaca in vegas and I missed him terribly. Not terribly, like I couldn't live without him, but terribly in everything I did and where I went, I thought of him and how much he would have enjoyed being there. When I got home, I went straight to his house and I felt electric. I wasn't a winner at ALL in Vegas...so I guess that I can't be lucky in every area of my life.

Happy as a clam

It was a no-brainer really, my decision really. I chose Dave. The great guy who knew my life story in a week. The guy who literally lives across the street and found me on internet. The guy who cleaned up my cat's puke and didn't even flinch. Really? Who does that? I don't know if I would have done it. The guy who finishes my sentences, tells me I'm beautiful, likes to hold my hand in public, is down with the idea of having a family someday and is thoughtful. I'm smitten, if it wasn't obvious.

Tough Choices

It seems that it has happened: I have met 2 great guys at the exact same time and now I have to choose between them. Why does it have to be this way? How often is it that you meet two great people at the exact same time? The problem is that they are both so different from each other that a comparision is difficult. One makes me feel extremely comfortable and we can talk about anything with out feeling funny. The other one makes me all nervous and wondering. One is blue collar, one owns his own business. One calls/texts all of the time, one calls sporadically. One has kissed me/one hasn't yet (but I want him to). One is shy, one is outgoing. Both have a pet (a bonus in my book for both). One knows about my desire to have kids someday, one doesn't even know about it yet. Oh the dilemma about figuring it all out.

Tulips

Tulips are blooming in Holland Michigan!
No they are not, they are blooming in a pot on my coffeetable.
Yesterday I met the eharmony guy for a fun time at Winterblast and he surprised me with some tulips. I was taken completely by surprise, but in a pleasant way. I guess I didn't need to even need to go and buy myself some V-day flowers ;).
We had a great time at the Winterblast. It's nice to see good/fun things happening in Downtown Detroit. My favorite part about the night was getting semi-lost in trying to find the parking garage and snuggling up next to his arm because it was so darn cold.

The great "call in" debate

I had a conversation with my gay BF Juston the other day about work and he really got me a little crazy.
A few weeks ago he had invited me to go play "drag queen" bingo next weekend. I am scheduled to work and he suggested that I call in and go. I explained to him that I don't "call in", I never call in. Its not in my work ethic to call in and I can't even imagine it. It really frustrates me when other people call in as well. If people just came in when they are scheduled, there would never be a reason to have to scramble and call everyone to try and cover the shift. The downfall to it all, is that if no one can be found to work, the person who was supposed to be replaced by the no show has to stay and get stuck working. Sometimes its just for a few hours, sometimes its for a whole other shift.
Juston's rationale for calling in and not feeling bad about it is that, on call employee's could just be called to cover the shift. I tried to explained to him that, where I work, that isn't the case and even if it were, its still wrong. I mean he wanted me to call in so I could go play drag queen bingo, which is so wrong in my book. If I were to ever call in, I better have a death in the family or be extremely sick.
I went on the further explain that I wouldn't hire him to work for me. It kind of struck a chord with him and he was offended. The conversation got a little heated from there and I stood my ground. I am confident that I'd be justified in "shit canning" any employees I hire if they call in often. His rationale again was "well you have to take the good employees with the bad", you can't have ALL good one's. My thought was, "Why the hell not?" Is it too much for me to expect my employee's to show up when scheduled? Am I being naive?
In this enconomy, having a well paying and steady job is a blessing and something to be proud of. If you don't care about it, then maybe you shouldn't have one and maybe you need to realize what it is like to not have one and can appreciate it after it is gone.

The Chinese New Year

Here is my horoscope for today: An influx of social calls will probably make you feel quite popular today. It could be difficult choosing between all the parties and gatherings to which you are invited. It may suit you better, though, to pick a quiet evening with a lover instead, enjoying each other's company over a candlelit, gourmet dinner for two.

Too bad, I don't have any prospects, but it sure sounds nice.

It's Valentine's Day and I was hoping to be someone else's Valentine. I realize that it is just a day like all of the other's but it is nice to feel special. It's nice to get flowers. Maybe I'll just have to go buy some flowers for myself.

I had a very impromptu and unexpected date yesterday. I was online checking my profile and lists of potentials and I got a message from a guy. It was funny and I replied back. Then we started chatting, within 2 hours I met him for breakfast and had a good time. He is from the area and was giving me history funny tidbits about the new city I call home. The even funnier part about it all, is that he literally lives across the street from me. We chatted for a a few hours over breakfast. He was a really nice guy.

Last night I had another date with a guy that I met on Eharmony. I like him a lot, but I am beginning to wonder how he feels. I mean he hasn't even tried to kiss me, touch my hand or anything and we've been on 5 dates. I am extremely shy when it comes to putting on the moves and I just bring myself to plant one on him. I was just thinking about it and rationalizing that there really hasn't been an opportunity, but last night there was and still NOTHING :(. I suspect the gum chewing (his)after the movie was a good sign and it might have happened, but it didn't and I wish it would. I am planning on seeing him again today, so maybe I'll have good things to report.

The dating game

So as you know, I am back in the saddle again and am dating. It has been interesting and fun, but weird at the same time. Its almost like there are some unspoken rules to all of it and I am not sure how to follow the rules. Do I call the next day? Do I email? How about kissing...are there rules to that? When is too soon to say "hey, let's watch a movie at my/your place?" There is so much stigma to online dating as well as regular dating, that it can often be scary and awkward. Do I tell him my last name? Will he stalk me? I feel so new to all of this that my head is spinning. Hopefully I'll figure it all out soon. I have been on 4 dates with this one guy that I like so we'll see.

The laundromat people

So my new place doesn't have a washer and I spent my 1st time doing laundry at my mom's for 8 hours. Well there is a laundromat across the street, so I decided to do it all there. $22 later!, it was done. I don't think I'll be doing that again. A few more weeks of $22 loads of laundry and I could totally find a nice washer on Craigslist. So I will definitely be looking for one next week after pay day.
Whilst doing laundry, I met an interesting woman who decided to chat it up with me for a bit. She was bitter and angry about just getting let go from her job at Walmart. She was a cake decorator. I can't believe that being a cake decorator at Walmart paid so well....she was making $18 an hour. Holy!
Also at the laundromat was a cute little old man who walked so slow and I was praying that he just didn't drop on the floor in front of me. Did you know, that if that were to happen and I didn't do anything, I might likely be liable for not helping, since I am a healthcare professional. Somedays I wish I was just a normal Joe, who didn't know anything and could be oblivious.
There was also the mexican grandma/grandson, the eyeballing blonde and the asian owner, who doesn't believe in heating the place. All in all it was an interesting experience. I hope not to be going back anytime soon.

When will it happen...

So I have gone on 3 dates with this guy and things are great. We have tons to talk about all of the time and the conversation never gets boring. He makes me laugh and I find myself smiling when I think of him. Its not a problem, but I guess I'll really know if I "like him, like him", when I kiss him. Yep, that's right you heard me, 3 dates and no kissing...yet ;). I am not really sure quite why it hasn't happened, but I am getting a little anxious about it. How much pressure I am putting on a 1st kiss?
Everyone at work is up in my business on my dating and keeps asking me if I like this guy and I do, a lot. I keep telling them, that I'll "really" know when I kiss him. Maybe next week ;).

Perspective

After being in my new place for nearly a month, I am beginning to have a little bit of perspective on my life. I really thought that having space is what I wanted and in many parts that is true. However, now that I have space, I feel terribly alone.

I have never lived alone (except for my 5 month stint in Germany), I have always had a roommate and now being alone is really weird for me. I thought that I would enjoy it, but the truth is, I am struggling with it a little bit. Maybe it will get better when I move Smudge in and he will be here for company, but I am skeptical.
Being a bachelorette, I find myself rarely cooking because it seems pointless to cook something and have leftovers for 3 days. I don't like leftovers enough to want to eat them for 3 days. I am content with Mac and Cheese or a bowl of cereal.

I have jumped into the dating pool again. I am trying EHarmony this time and have a 3 month trial set up. I have had 3 dates already (2 with 1 guy and one other) and things have been going well. Dating is so weird...I am not sure I like it either. I am a one person type of gal and dating a few different people is stepping outside of my comfort zone. The dates have been nothing serious, so I should feel comfortable, but I am feeling a bit weird about it. I actually had a date tonight. After talking with him on the phone the day before I was tempted to call and cancel, but I figured what to do I have to lose, I'll go. He was nice in person, but still terribly shy. I felt like I was doing all of the talking/questioning. I wonder if I was ever that shy? 1st dates are so awkward.

Being short sucks!

Well I went to my 1st concert of 2010 last weekend, it was a great show. Aside from the fact that I always get stuck sitting or standing behind the "tall guy". What kind of luck is that? It always happens to me. City in Colour was a great show, even with all of the "Canadian's" in the crowd.
I am not sure what it is about Dallas Green's voice that makes me feel what he is singing about. There are times when he just sounds so tortured, but I totally get it. I can't wait to see what else this year's concerts bring.
Here is a photo of the "hoser" that I had to sit behind. I wanted to tap him on the shoulder and say "Ahem, I am a nurse and I just wanted to let you know that when you go outside the change in temperature is going to make you sick." But I didn't, I just bitched about him the entire show and I had to do the "lean".

OMG

I can't believe how much $$ I spent today. It was like $100 at every place I went. I'll be happy when I am finally settled in and have everything I need. Buying all of this nickle and dime crap is killing me. Today it was shopping mostly for decor. I got new pillows for my NEW bed, an entertainment center, some new scrubs for work and a bunch of different paintings/photos for my walls.
I have just about one room down that is complete...now only 4 more to go!
I can't wait to be able to enjoy this place.

Its all new

Well 2010, I am ready for you. I expect great things from you.
I have a new place, a new career and a new outlook on life. Well not really a new one, but an "enhanced outlook" on my life and I what I expect for myself.
I am going to not worry about my ever ticking biological clock. I am going to lose 10 pounds. I am going pay off some bills. 2010, will be a great year.

Planet Fitness

So I keep hearing the commercials on the Radio for planet fitness, so today I went and signed up. How can you beat a $1 sign up fee and only $10 a month?! I need to get my hiney in gear and drop a few more lbs. and tone up. I am thankful that since I have started working, I have lost 12 pounds! It was a 12 pounds that also required a very little effort to do, since it has natural for me to run my butt off at work. There is a girl that I work with that has encouraged me to sign up here and says that we can go together as motivation, so it seems like plan. Even if we don't go together, I can still get some time in by myself and at $10 a month, it is far less than buying some piece of equipment that will likely collect dust in my basement. I am excited to work out...at least I am for now.

In like Flynn

Well I am moved in...but still not unpacked really. It is going to be a long process. I have been having a blast buying lamps, rugs and bathroom stuff. Painting has been fun and I am in LOVE with my living room. I went outside of the box and painted one of the walls a dark purple...it looks awesome. I am equally in love with the accent wall of my bedroom which is called surfer and reminds me of a carribean ocean. The other walls painted in the bedroom were a bust, my banana split yellow, ended up looking like a light neon green! So I repainted it a color called cork (i was envisioning a sun and sand type of room), but it looks orangy. Its a fine color, but not what I was going for. I think it will all work together though once I get my bedroom furniture. It is being delivered tomorrow and I am WAY excited about it. I can't wait to sleep in a big girl bed again.
Its been a piecemeal process of getting everything together. Picture will come soon. Til then I'll be unpacking and sorting...ugh. All of my scrap stuff is going to be the best/worst, but I can't wait to play with it all again soon.