Hindsight

So I've been talking with the other girl in the office today about relationships and the past and everything else. I've come to realize how important hindsight is.
As I look back on my relationship with my ex, everything seems so clear. It was so obvious how miserable we were. We treated each other SO badly. It took the littlest things to set each other off and turned into something ugly and monstrous when it did. I'd get so angry about the dumbest shit and it wasn't even the things that I was mad about, that I was REALLY mad about. It was this whole big culmination of everything else and that one little thing set it all into motion.
I am embarrassed to think about how I behaved and how "mean" I got. In hindsight, it was so unnecessary. Why did I do that? I'd like to say that it was because I was trying to protect myself, but deep down I always knew I was just trying to make him as miserable as I was. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I am/was at total fault in that failed relationship, but I didn't make things any easier. There were times when I hated him and no matter what he had done or not done, I don't think it would have made a difference. He was just not the right person for me and it was a mess.
I could have ignored the dumb shit and focused on what was so big and bothering me. I am not sure if it would have made a difference at all if I would have acted differently and at this point in my life I am not going to dwell on it.
I look at other people around me and I know that they are just as miserable as I was. I am so grateful that I got out. So grateful that its over. I know it is difficult and it hard, but don't we owe it to ourselves and our partners to treat each other nicely? If we can't do that, it needs to end. There is nothing worth it in the world to keep on keeping on in misery. End it...you'll be happy in the long run. Trust me, I know. If you don't look at your partner and think "sigh" that he/she is the best, why not? Did you ever? Can you?

I look at Joe all of the time and think "sigh", he is a great person. Where has he been all of my life? Everything is good. I am warm and fuzzy inside.
I think of hindsight and the weird part is, I don't feel like I can make mistakes this time around. Its a different kind of relationship that I have with Joe and it feels great. I don't ever feel like I have to watch what I say, because I never have anything mean to say. I never think mean things. I never feel lost. I never have been this happy. Who knew...