Monday, October 22, 2012

Trying to start a family...

I have been married for a little over a year now and the desire to start a family is overwhelming. My husband is wonderful! He would make such and awesome dad someday. We have been trying for the year to get pregnant, but nothing has happened. I hear my little ovary clock tick tocking away everyday. I want nothing more than to be a mom. As I get older, the madness gets worse. Its almost all that I think consumes me. I have heard many people tell me to relax and to not think about it and it will just "happen". What if it doesn't? I'll be 40 before I know it and to me that is the cut off. Tick tock...I have 2 1/2 years left. Its so hard to turn off your brain and just try and let things happen. I will never forgive my EX for stealing my best baby making years from me. It is one thing I will NEVER forgive him for. Even though in hindsight, things didn't work out between us and would have likely been an terrible father, I am still bitter about losing all of that precious time! I never wanted anything more than a family and I am sure he knew that he would never be ready...and for that I will never forgive.