Monday, November 30, 2009

At the mall

So I was at the mall today to start some christmas shopping and I am amazed at other people on a constant basis.
I hate that "hand person" who walks up into your face and says, excuse can I ask you a question and kind of cock blocks your next move and wants to squirt this stuff on your hands. Ugh...they sent them to super sales school. I tried to avoid them and they were following me. If the mall were busier, they would have been easier to avoid, but it was early and there weren't very many people around.
Then I was having a nice lunch and i see all of these kids around, I was like wtf, its a Monday why aren't these buggers in school...and then it hit me, home schoolers! What is up with all of these homeschooler's these days anyway? And shouldn't they be at home schooling them instead of at the mall? Unfortunately most of the kids I have encountered that are home schooled are weird and socially awkward. Kids need to be around other kids.

Friday, November 13, 2009

The Deal Breaker...

So things were going along great in my relationship with Joe...until a few weeks ago. After a year and half, I was thinking that maybe something else would happen with us; a ring, asking me to move in or just some moving forward. Things are comfortable, but there are times when I feel like things need be pushed, so I pushed it.
From the beginning Joe has known that I want to have kids someday and in the early stages, he was fine with that. His response was that he didn't have a pressing desire either way, it would be great to have them, but it wouldn't matter if he didn't either. To me, that was acceptable it wasn't a flat out "no way" and it was something to work with. Well I pushed the envelope a few weeks ago and brought it up again. And then...the indifference came out as a now, I am not sure. He explained that the entire thought of being a dad scares the crap of out of him and he's not sure he could handle it. He said that on a daily basis, he has a hard enough time talking to people and what the heck would he talk to a 3 year old about? Oy what I was thinking. Really? That is what freaks you out? That's not even a big deal in my opinion.
Then the conversation went elsewhere, because I was asking him a bunch of questions so I could get a handle on where his head is at. Basically, I asked him, why are doing what you do everyday? Meaning, like what's the purpose of working, saving money, having a house, etc. and he couldn't come up with an answer. Which for me is frustrating...I know why I am doing what I am doing and what goal I am trying to reach and then to be in a relationship with someone who can't answer that, makes me worry.
I don't want to beat a dead horse in the questions department, but I need answers and I need them soon. I don't want this to end...but I refuse to give up on what is important to me.