Friday, December 19, 2008

Enough Already!!!

In light of this recent headline: Arkansas family welcomes 18th child, a girl!

All I have to say is enough already!!!

Ark. – An Arkansas woman has given birth to her 18th child. Michelle Duggar delivered the baby girl by Caesarean section Thursday at Mercy Medical Center in Rogers. The baby, named Jordyn-Grace Makiya Duggar, weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 20 inches long.

If these parents were indeed at all "responsible" parents, they would have never allowed themseleves to have so many children. They seriously need to get a new hobby, other than procreating!

I feel that it is terribly unfair to the other children, having to take care of all of the other children all of the time. There is NO way that 2 parents can take care of all of those children and it grossly unjust to expect the older children to take care of younger children, because they are selfish.

This whole story angers me to no end. Seriously Duggars...invest some time in birth control, those darn kids can just about crawl out her uterus at this point, gross!

I love how they say that each baby is a gift from god...well in my opinion, they are getting pretty greedy with "their gifts" and should consider the possibility that the human body wasn't built to take such abuse. What good will it afford them when she dies during childbirth? How will they function with a one parent household and 18 kids?

Oh yeah and don't even get me started on all of the goofy ass "J" names that have creative spelling!!!

Monday, December 15, 2008

A prayer for the soul

So I got this "prayer" from a friend of mine today and it struck me pretty hard. We need to ALL take some time and look at things never know how other's lives really are, until you stop and think, instead of react on impluse. I am not religious in any way really, but I thought that this a great message that we all can appreciate regardless of our religious view.

> Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.
> Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.
> Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.
> Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.
> Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love. Matt 5:44 relax

I LOVE that I am done with school!! And I passed! I pulled out an amazing A- from my horrible D beginning. I am so proud of myself. My study buddies were the best and really, REALLY, helped me get through this semester. I owe them BIG time.
Here is a pic of my study buddies chillin' at the mall after our evaluations! YAY we made it...only 2 more classes to go!!!!

Look at us future nurses...we look like we need a nap. Finals were so exhausting.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

A Stye oh My

Yep that's right you heard me, I have a stye...again.
That's two in a week, it is getting hella annoying. Fortunately, mine don't hurt and I don't really notice them, until I get that scratchy feeling on my eye. Last week I had one on my right eye on the upper lid and yesterday, I had one on the same eye on the lower lid.
I did some research I found out that:
What is a Stye?:
A stye, or hordeolum, is a small bump that can appear on the outside or inside of the eyelid.

A stye develops from an eyelash follicle or an eyelid oil gland that becomes clogged from excess oil, debris or bacteria. Styes seem to be brought on by increased stress, but can also be a complication of another condition, called blepharitis.

Well since I had an exam yesterday and my final on the 8th...I am guess I am a little stressed! I guess I won't be stye free until December 8th is over and I pass my class! Ugh!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Things you have done

I stole this from an old whore's blog, I thought was pretty cool:
Bold the things that you have done:
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelos David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memoria
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

I do like to read an entire book in one day most of the time, its one of the only ways I getto finish one these days.
This list has also given me a few ideas of things I'd like to do in the future.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

976 Numbers

Hello Santa? Is that you?....Mrs. Claus comes on and says how santa is busy getting ready for Christmas and a recorded story starts.
I am sitting here at work today and something totally random popped into my head...does anyone remember the 976 numbers. Yes, there were numbers to call party lines and stuff like that, but does anyone remember the ones they had for the holiday's? I think it was like 50 cents to call around Christmas and you could hear a story about Santa and stuff like that. I used to beg and beg to call...I even think my folks gave in a few times.
Oh that was forever

Monday, November 17, 2008


On Saturday night after freezing my butt off at the U of M Game, Joe and I took his niece and nephew to see Bolt at the Imagine theater in 3-D. The original plan was to see High School Musical 3, but Noah (Joe's nephew) wasn't super stoked about it, so Emily did some research and saw that Bolt was playing. Hallelujah...I wasn't really into seeing High School Muscial 3 either.
The movie was totally cute, although predicatable, like most kids movies are. I really liked Mittens the cat and Rhino the hamster. Rhino...probably made the movie for me since he was so fat and cute. Disney did its part by throwing in some adult humor too. Cute movie. I would totally recommend it.
Did I awesome my boyfriend is? It was HIS birthday on Saturday and he took out his niece and nephew for dinner and a movie. I just love him...I think its so sweet that he so selfless sometimes.

PT or Nursing?

On Friday we had our "rehab" experience at the hospital. I totally loved it. However, I have come to realize that maybe the reason that I loved it and the reason that I loved my extended care experience was because of the physical/occupational therapy part. I don't know why that area facinates me so much. Did I make the wrong choice with nursing? Should I have chosen PT? While I am completely and totally interested in PT, I know that I couldn't do the math/physics involved. Its just not in my brain. I can't wait to be done with school...I am seriously considering working on a Rehab unit.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Have a blessed day...

Ok I am not racist by any means...but have you seriously ever heard a white person tell you to "have a blessed day"? I personally have never heard it. Do I look like I need to be blessed? What does "have a blessed day" mean anyway? Why do people feel the need to say it? I get from Cashier's and I got it from the payroll delivery guy today too, wtf?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Music Bumps

I love music.
I love my Ipod.
I love when I am driving in my car and a song comes on and I get what I like to call "music bumps". Music bumps are goosebumps that get when certain songs come on. Its like i know that it is going to be so great that I shiver and get goosebumps. It is then followed by more goosebumps and the chills for a few seconds. I know it sounds completely weird, but I absolutely love it when that happens, even though I am chilly. I can't say I have ever experienced the "music bumps" by just listening to the always comes from a CD or my Ipod. I can pretty much guaranty that it will always happen to Depeche Mode's song Blue Dress or Butterfly by Jason Mraz.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Perfect patients

So I had a great week at clinical this week. I seriously had the perfect patients. So polite, so understanding and so awesome. I loved that they knew what they should and shouldn't do. I loved that they not only knew what they should and shouldn't be doing that they actually followed through with it. They were candid, they were medicated and they rocked. I had a great week. I even got to do a few things that I hadn't done before which included an IM injection and taking out 2 IV's. Now I need to get my studying done and yay Care plan #1 out of the way, only one more to go!!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Whoop Whoop

Obama made it! Obama in the house!

I am so excited that the rest of the country has decided to shake things up a bit. So what if he's black. Are we expecting a big ol' house party up on capitol hill with some crystal and strippers? Oh wait...that would be Kwame, poor buddy serving time in jail. I can't wait to see what happens.
I know the die hard McCain supporters were super concerned about taxes being raised, but honestly, I'll never in my lifetime make over $200,000 a year so it doesn't concern me. Now who is not to say that I won't find me a nice rich man to marry, then maybe I'll be concerned then. However, I am living in the now; a broke-ass college student, just waiting for my April graduation date and struggling to pass an exam. Bring on change I say, how can it possibly hurt.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

What is the deal!!!

Ok I an idiot? Why can't I pass a fricking test in nursing school? It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that the class average was poor, but still. UGH! I hate coming from so far behind, I am now gonna be stressed the rest of the semester. I need to ace the next exam, damn it!!! I can do it, I just need to get my game face on...grr!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

2008 Year in far

So I've been thinking about scrapping a lot lately...I miss it terribly. I look at the work of my friends and envy it...envy their time, their talent and their drive to make new things. I've never scrapped a year in review and I since so much has happened in my life, I thought I should start thinking about all of the things that have happened to me this year and start a its way easier to scrap.
Here is my list so far:
I fell in love
I saw a C-section birth
I went parasailing
I got divorced
I moved in with a friend
I packed up my life and put it in storage
I had a colonoscopy
I saw open heart surgery
I went to Beaver Island
I made new friends
I reconnected with old friends
I tried internet dating
I dyed my hair red
I lost 15 lbs.
I cried
I laughed
I loved
I lived
I joined weight watchers
I got a Wii
I moved back home
I got a new cell phone
I became addicted to Facebook
I saw Jason Mraz in concert
I climbed a fence in high heeled boots when I was drunk
I started over
I picked up the pieces
I felt elated
I felt relieved
I felt scared
I felt sad
I felt loved
I saw twins come into this world
I spoke German to a patient
I donated 10 bags of clothes to the Salvation Army
I rolled my car over 100,000 miles
I went canoeing
I went to Cedar Point
I sent out endless resumes, looking for a hospital job
I turned down a hospital job
I chatted online with my friends
I went to the Florida Keys
I tie-dyed
I went for Dim Sum
I got new glasses
I studied
I passed
I failed
I tried harder
I went to a Tiger's game
I went to my 1st game at the "Big House"
I scrapped (a little)
I read new books
I worked out
I biked
I played tennis
I went to a funeral (RIP uncle Dave)
I won a scholarship
I was busy
I realized how much my family loves me
I realized how short life really is
I realized how great life can be
I also realized how bad it can be.

This is just a beginning I have 2 more months left to think of more things and add them to the list.

The calm before the storm...

Or so it feels like. I am in the 2nd week of school and everything is going fine...too fine really. I am waiting for the huge shit-storm to hit...I know it will soon. BLAH. Pretty soon it will be all exams, careplans and stressing about it all.
I kind of like feeling relaxed even if its only for a week. I wish it wasn't going to end so soon.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Go blue!

Well my 1st U of M game at the "Big House". It was an experience to say the least. Even being in Ann Arbor...on game day was an experience for me. I found myself all wide-eyed and jaw left hanging seemed apparently obvious, that I missed something HUGE by staying at home to go to college.

The game started out looking to be promising for U of M...but then it was all down hill. Too many fumbles...too many sacks, it was embarrassing to say the least. While we all know that U of M's football team is restructing and getting into it's groove, it was still almost comical to watch at times.
I felt a little bit like being in catholic church at times...learning when to stand up and sit down, learning when to cheer and sing the fight song. I felt all self conscience at first...but then by about the 3rd quarter I was getting it.
The crowd was awesome, all decked out in blue and gold...but then of course, we had to have some Illinois fans right behind us, it was terribly annoying, I wish they were in the cheap seats, they almost ruined my day.
Hopefully I'll get to go again soon.

Thursday, October 2, 2008


I feel like I am drowning in school right now...barely surviving. I can't get a passing score on my exams to save my life! Its totally terrible and I am having a hard time dealing with it all.
I have this huge fear of failure and the consequences that will follow along with them. With as much determination I have to keep pushing foward, trying harder and trying to make it all work, I still have the doubt in the back of my head. Will it all ever come together? Will this all make sense soon? How am I ever going to be nurse IRL?
So yes, failing a class is the worse thing that can happen to me and it would be a setback, but is it that terrible really? It feels like it is, but in reality it isn't. I hate having all of my eggs in one basket (or bookbag, for that matter), I feel like I have no control. I need to get control, suck it up and make it through this semester...I just hope its not too late.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Wishing I felt like I belonged...

Anywhere right now...its totally weird. I hate being in transition and even when I am out of it I still think I'll feel lost. I have no space to call mine own and it totally sucks. When I move back home I am always welcomed there...but the space I have is borrowed space, it won't be mine. I miss having something that is mine. I can stay with Joe whenever I want, but the space isn't mine either. I feel like a burden a little, a lost puppy trying to find her way...but will I find my way? Can I? Without the finances to do it, it makes the whole process so much more difficult, i hope I can stick it out until April.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Apples and books...

Yep that's right...its back to school time!
I was entirely ready to go back to school last month, I feel like I have LOST so much information. Hopefully it will all come flooding back to me next week.
We had our 1st day today at Beaumont, it is such a NICE hospital compared to some of the others that I have been in. It so different to see the hospitals in Oakland county compared to that of Wayne County, its like bourgeoisie. Huge rooms, tons of equipment, fully staffed and clean, its such a difference. I am looking forward to an excellent experience!
Good news...I passed my math exam on the 1st day of class. I hope the rest of the semester follows along the same lines.
I'll try to be around as much as I can, but with work and school, it will be tough!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Its the little things...

That totally make me love him even more and make me feel special.
Like when he says..."I like it when you wear your hair back, because I get to see more of your beautiful face". Who wouldn't want to hear that!
Yesterday we got back from a Tiger's game (our Baseball team) and looked in the bathroom and saw my shampoo and conditioner on the countertop. So I asked him if he had cleaned the he says. When I went to the store, I knew that you were running low and bought you some more. But I bought the wrong kind of shampoo, I'll take it back and get the right one. Shampoo is shampoo he was buying them by the color of the bottle. I just find it totally cute that he even thought of me when shopping and even notice what knd of shampoo I even use. He's totally a keeper.
I feel so loved...even if it is for the silly things.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Almost Free

Well next week is my court date for the big "d". I am nervous, excited, scared and optimistic. I can't wait for it to be over, even if I leave with less than I expect. I have what's most important right now...and that's happiness. I never thought I'd feel so relieved for it all to come to an end.
I am optimistic that we will soon become the world's best it was likely intended to be in the 1st place. I still have some things at the house that I need to go clean up yet, but I should be able to get it all done next week before the 28th. Sigh...packing totally sucks.
Which I might add...I may be doing again soon. My roommate (who is my best friend and offered to let me stay as long as I needed) told me that she thinks its only fair that I should pay rent...which I have no issue with. THe issue I have is the amount of rent, which is $350 and 1/3 of the utilities, which in the end, would be like $450 a month. Shoot for $500 I could get my own place...ah wait, you have to have $$ to get your own place So bygones...I'll be storing stuff wherever I can and staying at my mom's...unless I stay at Joe's place a few days a week (so technically we won't be living together). ARGH... I hate packing....good thing most of my stuff never came out of the boxes, ;).

Friday, August 8, 2008

Friday Rant

I know that this seems petty but its driving me crazy!!! So yesterday I was driving down the road and I saw a sign for a "garage estate sale". It botherd me little then, but when I drove by again today it bothered me even more. Apparently, this person who made the sign has no idea what an estate sale is. How can you even have an estate sale in garage? That would very much indicate that the garage is indeed one's estate? Can that be? Anyway, it made me nuts...I was almost tempted to go check it out and ask them correct their sign, but in the interest of me being giddy about going on vacation tomorrow, I decided to leave well enough alone. I can't fix everyone's grammar...not that mine is perfect.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Melts my heart

So this weekend we (most of my family, my roommate and my BF) went away on our annual canoe trip. As usual it was a good time.
Joe actually passed the relationship test with flying colors as we were able to successfully and "drama free" canoe as a couple down the river. Only once did he manage to steer us into a tree branch, in which I grabbed on and wouldn't let go because I thought it would whack him in the face. Sadly, in not letting go, I fell off of my seat and banged my head and arm, it hurt like a son of gun, but it was alright. We didn't flip the canoe, so it was ok.
On Saturday night after all of the canoeing, awards and dinner. I hit the casino with my Aunt, cousin and Grandpa. Joe had no interest in going and hung out by the fire with the rest of my family while I was gone. I LOVE that I don't have entertain him!!! We were gone for about 2 hours and when we got back, he was still around the fire with my grandma, my cousin Tom and my mom...but he had a bundle on his lap. Apparently, he had gotten up and Lily (my cousin's 8 year old daughter) took his chair. When he got back he told her "your lap or mine?" After he proceeded to sit on her lap, she changed her mind and sat on his lap. No longer than 10 minutes later she was alseep on his lap with her arms around his neck. When I got back from the casino I saw this little Lily bundle curled up with him and it melted my sweet. I can't wait to have kids...he'll be such a good dad.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

1/2 A does that make me R or N?

I am officially 1/2 of a nurse!!! After passing my Med/Surg final, I have 1 year of nursing school under my belt. This past semester was a bit rocky at times, but I did it. I am super proud of myself for keeping my SHIT together during all of "mess" that has been going on in my life. I had a great clinical experience this semester and learned a ton, there were a few days that I even felt like I was nurse and not just some lost little puppy. As much I need a break from school, I am anxious to get on with it and get it OVER with!
Now I just need to learn how to RELAX again...if I can even remember. I forgot what it is like to actually read a book I enjoy. I've already got one started and I am totally sucked in. After I am done with it, I'll post my thoughts in my "book nerd girl" blog.
I am going to Cedar Point this weekend with my new guy's family, I am SO looking forward to it. I haven't been to Cedar Point in quite a few years. FYI...Cedar Point is our version of Great America or any other Roller Coaster Park ya'll have near ya, but its bomb. I can't wait to go!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Church Signs...

So every week I pass a variety of churches and I often wonder, who comes up with all of the witty stuff that they put on their signs? Do people sit around at church and think of this crap? Or is there some website that they go to show off all of their wittiness?
I was driving by a church on my way home this weekend and I saw this quote, which I thought was super creative: exposure to the son, will keep you from getting burned.
Props to whomever thought that one made me giggle and then think about the message.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Date Night...

So I completely arranged my schedule so I could have Friday night's free to go on dates. When i set up my yahoo personals, I was really "just looking" to see what is out there, but I wanted to keep my options open, so if I were to meet someone, I'd have some time in my crazy busy schedule to actually go.
Well its Friday night...and I DO have a date, with the 1st person that I met. It is going SO well. He's a super nice guy and I can't wait to see 2 hours! I always look forward to Friday nights, so I can spend them with him.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Out of place...

So I went back to the house yesterday to grab a few things and to survey all of the other stuff that I left behind, to see how much room that i still need to make for all of my crap! And it was so felt so foreign. The furniture was all moved around, there was a new shower curtain, new things hanging on the walls and of course...a new TV. Chris bought a 50" flat screen, wtf! The divorce isn't even final...that could totally be an asset. I swear some people never think. I need to make a few more trips to get everything else, I don't want to go back. I wish I could just leave it, but I can't "part" with anything. Plus I'd rather try to sell it in a garage sale before I throw it away.

Friday, May 2, 2008

The toothbrush

My new beau bought me a toothbrush for his place...

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Boxes and Bubles

So packing up has not been fun at ALL!

I am trying to make this realy easy and get rid of things that I do not need, but it is extremely difficult. Why can't I just throw it away? I wish I had enough funds/resources to just get rid of everything and start all over...but its hard to start over with nothing at all...and why throw away what you have to start with?

It is a silly little circle, but I will manage. I am starting with clothes and then will move on from there. It'll be so hard to part with my scrappy stuff...but who says I have too. Come new life...I am waiting.

Saturday, April 26, 2008


Man I am falling hard. It all feels so wonderful.
We had date #2 last night and it was fabulous. It feels so well we click. I know it is moving so fast, but I am seruiosly crushing on this new mystery man in my life. I can't wait to see him again!
Who knew I could be so happy?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008


So I am all gooey inside thinking about the date that I have tonight...yes that's right I said tonight. We are both so curious about one another, we couldn't wait to see each other in person until Friday.
I totally forgot about how "gooey" feels and its so bizzare. Its definitely a good thing, but it takes some getting used to. I've spent years all closed up inside, I don't even remember the "gooey".
I am so excited to meet him, I can't even explain it.
Wish me luck!

Monday, April 21, 2008

On the scene

The Dating scene that is. I have a date on Friday. I am very nervous, but also very excited about it.
Who knew I'd meet someone on a yahoo personal's ad. We have had some great/late night conversations since we "met", per se. From the converations we have had, he is very witty and very easy to talk to. I hope I don't get the first date jitters when we meet. Man oh man, it has been so long since I've gone on a date, I don't know if I am even sure what to do.
I told some of the people that I work with at the restaurant that I have a date and all of the younger girls wanted to give me a make-over. It was so funny.
I never thought there was someone out there who liked vegetables less than I do.

Friday, April 18, 2008

I am so loved

My family is awesome. I can't even express how grateful and overwhelmed with gratitude I am feeling. People can surprise you when you least expect it.
My grandparents, my aunt and my folks have all been doing a stellar job at helping me out tremendously in this "crappy" time in my life at the moment. I'd be lost without them.
You all rock!!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I see bad people

Cancer (6/22-7/22)It's a good day for you to separate the good people in your life from the bad ones.

Well isn't that the truth! Peace out all you bad people. I need a new start, LOL.

Once I get him out of my head...I'll be golden

I am actually doing quite well...when I don't have Chris on the brain.
My solution, is really quite simple...a who cares attitude.
Who cares what he is doing?
Who cares where he has been?
Who cares what he is spending money on?
Who cares who he is with?

I has been working well for the past few weeks. I am gonna stick with it.

I can't make someone WANT to be with me and why should I? Why should I torture myself?

I am so much better than this.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I guess it takes 24 hours

For some really funny thoughts to set in because as I think about what happened to me yesterday, it really cracks me up.
So ya know you go in for a chek-up at the Dr. and they ask you questions about your life and your family, blah blah blah. Well I told the Dr. about what was going on in my life and she was genuinely interested. We talked about men in general and a few laughs. Then she says...well you know, you don't need a husband to have a baby, we can do an artificial insemination with an anonymous donor. You seem like a bright girl with a good head on your shoulders, if you don't find a man in a few years, think about it.
Cracks me up to think about it still. I love my Dr., she is so funny.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I had a GREAT day

Despite having to go and see the scoot scoot Dr and having a 10 hour clinical, I had a great day today.
It started with scoot scoot actually when they told me that I had lost 24 pounds...since my last visit which was Dec. of 2006. Whoop, whoop, go me!
Then I asked them for some samples of BC since I am going to lose/change insurance companies and my Dr. told me that she didn't samples of my current prescription, but could give me samples of another one and also wrote me a new script, which I might add can be filled at Walmart or Kroger for $9 w/o cool is that! YAY!
I also got my new glasses, which are super sassy check them out!

And since I could never get a pair of BIG sunglasses without a prescription...I splurged and got these Paris wannabe's. I feel like a fly...but they are awesome!

Friday, April 4, 2008

My future ex-inlaws

Why is so much easier to talk to them than it is my husband...?
I was working last night and Chris' mom, stepdad and grandma all came in for dinner. I was already cut off of the floor, so I didn't have to wait on them. Sadly...we don't see them that much and they had no idea that I even worked there.
It was nice to see them, but kind of an awkward weird at the same time.
They asked my about school and what I am planning on doing. When they were leaving...and I was leaving his grandma came up to me and gave me hug and told me not to forget about them. It made me want to still does when I think about.
I'll miss them.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Bring on Spring

Well we are getting a tease today of some warmer weather and I seriously can't wait.
I want to get outside.
I want to ride my bike, go far a walk or sit on the porch. I want to BBQ, go to the park, see a ball game, an outdoor concert and relax. Its so hard to relax when its cold out. Why is that?
I ordered 3 books from Amazon today...I can't wait to have a chance to read them, if I can escape the reading of my Nursing books for a few days. UGH...I can't wait for July, I really need 2 months off!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Dork Face

So I went to the dermatologist today to take care of all of the Dr. appts I will need to take care of before I lose/switch insurance. And I got some skin tags frozen off and I had him look at this white bump that I had on my face. Well apparently I had a cyst on my face which he took a razor like blade to and sliced opened and drain it. OUCH!! I also had all of the skin tags frozen off with this spray stuff, which gave me hives after it was over.
So not only did it look like I had chicken pox, but I had a goofy ass face all day.
Here take a look.

If you look close enough, you can see the red bumps that were all over my neck. I didn't take this pic until about 8 hours later, so the swelling of the freezy stuff had went down immensely.

Friday, March 28, 2008


Cancer (6/22-7/22)You need to restore balance in your social life. How you relax has got to change.

So what should I do tonight? I guess sitting home doing homework is probably not the best idea. Maybe I'll join Tippi and Tori at the bowling alley and hang out with all of the gays...but I really should be doing homework. Such a dilemma.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I don't have an accent!

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Inland North

You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."

The Midland
The Northeast
The South
North Central
The West
What American accent do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz


So I like to check my horoscope on a semi-regular basis just to see what it says. And I was surprised at what mine said today...Cancer (6/22-7/22)The emotional intensity and upheaval you've been feeling is getting stronger now.
Does that mean I am getting stronger? Or that the feelings are going to get stronger?
I hope it is that I am getting stronger, because I feel like I am. Hallelujah!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Life in boxes

My life is slowly getting packed in boxes...lots of them.
It makes me sad to think about what these boxes contain, what they mean to me and what the once meant to both of us.
As I look at old photographs of when we were first married, I see it now. How young he different he was. He doesn't even look like the same person, but I love him just the same, even if he broke my heart. That's just how I am, forgiving to a fault to those that I love and unforgiving to those who I don't.
As I pack up each box, I think about what lies ahead for me and right now as bleak as it seems, I do see light at the end of the tunnel. I see a flicker of what might be for me. I see the house with the beautiful garden and a swingset. I see a man who kisses my belly and talks to our unborn child. I see me being happy, in love, working as a nurse and enjoying life to its fullest everyday.
I think about these boxes, that will wait in storage for me. For my new life to begin...a year from now. When I walk across the stage at graduation and stay to myself "I MADE IT". And think to myself...I did without him. I did it with all of the great help from my friends and family. I did it by myself.
The one thing that these boxes do make me realize though right now is...I have a lot of things. Things that weigh me down, but I just can't throw them away, not just yet. They give me comfort, they give me hope and they give me strength. Most of all, they will be put away. Shelved in storage, where I won't have to think about them. I will only have what I need and I will hopefully have a clear head.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Lost and found

Well it seems like my life is spinning out of control these days. I have the weight of what feels like world on my shoulders, please give me anymore, I don't think I can handle another ounce!
Here is an update for all of you. Last week my husband left and said that he needed some space. I was torn apart, what horrible timing in my life. I felt like I could barely move. Let's see how much stress Amy can possibly handle? Like full time nursing school and two jobs isn't enough.
Now my brain is buzzing, when is gonna come back home?
Well he did come back home yesterday...but it was only for a moment. And its game over...I lose. I lose everything. He wants a divorce. He feels like he is holding me back and that he just can't do this anymore.
I can't afford to stay in the house, but I have no where I can really go. I can't afford my own place, I have too much stuff to comfortably stay anywhere that has offered and I hate relying on other people for too much.
My BFF Cori offered me room at her house and also offer me the ability to store whatever I want in her basement...I have so much stuff, it isn't even funny. I really don't think she even has the slightest idea of how much is really is. After being married for 5 years and living on your own for a little while before that, you tend to accumulate things, lots of things. Or at least I do. I am attached to things as well, which makes it so hard to get rid of them. I love her to death for being so supportive, but I feel bad about wanting to take it too.
I'd love to stay with my folks (which is what may happen during the weekdays) but there really isn't much room for me there. My mom is a pack rat like me and the spare rooms are stuffed to the gills with stuff. Maybe the need for "stuff" is genetic. My great grandma had a ton of stuff when they cleaned out her house. My aunt I think is the queen of "stuff".
So I have packed up a few boxes of my "stuff" and its killing me. This is my house, my home, my place and I am sad. Smudge and I will make it, but it is going to be the hardest year of my life. There is so much pressure on me now to be successful with school, I almost can't handle it. Please please please pray for me or for whatever you can, I need all of the help and strength I can get in these next few months.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Its Bombtastic

So in cue from my scrappy friends, I too bought some letters and had a good time with them in Key West, here is what I have, enjoy:


So on our way down to Key West it was late...about 11 or so and my friend Tippi who was driving was like Jesus Christ, all loud. We were like, huh and then we saw it:
The larger than life stone Jesus. Yowsers I feel like such a sinner.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Such a klutz

So this weekend I was busy getting ready for my trip and I was doing laundry. What fun!
Anyway, I have to wear an apron for work and when i take it to the laundry shoot, Smudge always follows me chasing the apron ties. So I was enjoying watching him chase the strings that I was running around the house, so he could chase me. Well I got tired of playing that decided to dangle the apron by the stairs to the basement and I guess i got carried away and wasn't paying attention and boom, I fell down the small set of stairs. My freaking foot is still killing me. What a fricking klutz, i swear!
Oh yeah and FYI, the karma is back. I got rear ended again this weekend WTF! Good thing I didn't take my car in for repair yet. Geez Louise, I need to take the "hit me" sign off of my car. LOL.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

The wrong way to meet your neighbors

So...I am driving home from work tonight, after having a crappy night I might add and I get a hankering for Starbucks...hazelnut hot chocolate. Its cold, it snowing and after the shabby money making evening I just had at work, I thought that some yum yum's would make me feel better (no wise cracks at the emotional eating please, rofl).
So I am turning into the driveway to the Starbucks that is about 3 1/2 miles from my house and I see this car flying up on me...WHACK! She hits me (not super hard though), it kind of felt like a hit from a bumper car. The first words out of my mouth were "son of a bitch, watch where you are going!". These words of course were said on my car as I was circling the parking lot because she turned into the exit only side of the lot.
I get out of my car and she gets out her car and we survey the damage. My bumper is hanging off a little bit and hers is WAY worse. Her light is smashed out, her hood is semi-crumpled up, its super scraped up from hitting my hitch. She asked if I wanted to call the cops, I said no, because I just wanted to get home and the cops are a pain in the ass. We exchanged info.
As I handed her mine, she was like OMG I live on Roseland too. I am like are you serious...where? She tells me and I know the house because it is almost a carbon copy of mine on the other end of the street.
Small fricking world, huh?
So after we exchanged info, I got my hot chocolate and she went home.
The weird part about all of it, is that I was completely unfazed by the whole situation. It was kind of like, ah well. The girl probably thought I was stoned or something because I was all calm about it. But I wasn't, I was just tired and thinking about karma...Is that what I get for teasing the girl at work that smashed her car last week? LOL. Life's a bitch isn't it!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Just call me Dr. Amy...I'll diagnose you

So since beginning my Psych rotation I have been awakened to all kinds of things around me. I watch how people are and I try to pinpoint what I think could be wrong with them. I monitor their moods and behaviors analyze what I "think" they have. It is so funny.
That was one of my biggest fears about Chris going in to the Psych field is that he would do that to me, but look at me, now I am doing it.
It is so amazing how much "mental health", really affect everything else in our lives. From how to cope with things that bother u, to how we manage our anger, to how we are in general. In some way or another it all is linked together and I never really realized it until now.
I am pretty sure that I have 2 bipolar uncles, who could seriously benefit from meds and learning new coping skills. I am fairly certain that a number of my friends and family are depressed. I haven't pinpointed out any Schizophrenics yet...unless maybe you want to add in some of my co-workers!

I'm not fat...I'm just big boned

So yesterday was my grandpa's birthday and we celebrated like we usually do with a nice dinner and then all coming back to my grandparents house for cake and ice cream. was not just ordinary.
My grandpa got a Wii for his 77th b-day. It was something he wanted for christmas and weren't able to get one, but my mom got up super early a few weeks ago and waited for one at Meijer's. Success!
It was so fun. I have never played with a Wii, it was so much more fun than a regular video game. The bad part it all is that I am sore from playing with sad it that!!!
I really need to get my ass in shape. I wonder if my grandpa is as sore as i am?

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Stop the Insanity!!!

So I have spent the past 2 weeks doing my clincial rotation at a Psychiatric hospital. It has been interesting to say the least.
I have had some very friendly and indepth conversations with lots of patients and i am suprised at how willing they are to share. Their honesty is almost too much to take sometimes.
I was a believer at first that a lot of mental illness was just that, all in their heads, but after spending some time in a facility it isn't. I truly believe that a lot of it is biological. But should they all be put on drugs? Shouldn't we all be put on some types of drugs?
I'll be one of the 1st people to admit that I get depressed, I get angry and I have self esteem issues, but isn't that normal to some extent?
We are all crazy, some of them just hide better than other's I suppose.

Friday, January 4, 2008

100 Things about me

100. Pink is my favorite color
99. I love doing home improvement projects
98. I don't care WHICH way the toilet paper rolls goes on the roll, just as long as gets put back on.
97. I am a horrible typist
96. I love to pick up corn with my mashed potatoes and eat them together.
95. I am scared that I will die young of heart disease or cancer
94. I can't ever fall asleep in bed if I don't go to bed before my husband.
93. I hate most vegetables
92. I can put my whole fist in my mouth
91. My cat can always make my day brighter
90. Licking envelopes is hella nasty
89. I want to be a size 12
88. I fear that I am turning into my mother
87. Scrabble is one of my favorite games
86. I love hanging out with my grandparents
85. I have a potty mouth that is very hard to control and I randomly drop the "f" bomb without even realizing that I do it.
84. I can swallow pills without anything to drink
83. Not that I ever want anything to happen to anyone in my family, but I dream about the day when I can start my own family traditions for the holidays.
82. I love the sun, but am afraid to go out in it after my melanoma scare.
81. When I think about eating meat, it makes me want to I don't think about it and enjoy my hamburger.
80. I sniff my nose after I am done sneezing, that's when you can tell I am done with my sneezing attack. Hold the bless you's until you hear the sniff.
79. Cracking my knuckles make my hands feel good.
78. I wish my mother would quit smoking and be more concerned about her health.
77. When I fight with my husband I HAVE to win, I am mean and bring up all kinds of things that are irrelevant.
76. I want to go on a romantic vacation and kiss under a waterfall.
75. Credit cards are NOT good for me to have.
74. I can't refrain from biting into hard candies or suckers.
73. Pizza is the perfect food, I could eat it everyday for the rest of my life.
72. I wish I had long skinny fingers, instead of chubby stumpy ones.
71. I swear at everyone when I am driving in the car.
70. Texting seems so impersonal, just call me damn it, it takes me 5 minutes to type 3 words.
69. I HATE putting on lotion, it feels so gross.
68. I wish it was acceptable to walk around without shirts like men do, what's the big deal, they are just boobs.
67. Losing 30 pounds, seems impossible, but I HAVE to do it, I hate being labeled as Obese, i'd be fine with overweight. I think the BMI chart is crap, I'll never be 110 lbs.
66. I wear a size 9 shoe, shouldn't I be taller than 5'2"?
65. I love pictures, taking them, looking at them, being in them...I have a poor memory and they help me relive the fun times.
64. I love the smell of Stayzon Black ink pads...everyone thinks I am hella weird because of this.
63. I love to bake...but never do anymore because my husband thinks carbs are the devil.
62. I love that I have "special" activities that I can do with both of my parents. My mom loves to stamp and scrap with me and My dad and I love to go biking riding and walking together. I call each of them separate things like daddy daughter princess time and mom and princess time.
61. Gardeing in the summer is one of my favorite things to do. I don't really like getting all dirty, but I love the result of all of the pretty flowers.
60. Given the opportunity, I could stay up all night playing scrabble or pinochle online.
59. I am obsessed with lip balm of any kind whether it be chapstick, bonnie bell or carmex.
58. One day I hope to travel to Asia.
57. I wish I knew how to put on make-up well. I love how dramatically makeup can change the way a person looks.
56. When I laugh a lot I have to use an inhaler because I can't breathe.
55. I always notice a flaw about someone 1st off rather than noticing the good things about them.
54. I tear up when someone wins a lot of money on a game show.
53. Someday, I hope to have 3 kids. I think I will be an awesome mom.
52. I have vowed to NEVER own a minivan.
51. I am a nursing student at OCC and I will graduate in May of 2009!!!
50. I can't get my nails to grow long at all, they are very weak and bend when you touch them.
49. I have had 9 surgeries in my life in which I have been put under; my gall bladder, a double bunionectomy on my feet, my tonsils, girly stuff, my wisdom teeth, bone marrow donor, my outie belly button popped and needed to turned to an innie, tubes in my ears, which would fall out and also needed to be surgically removed.
I've had 2 that I haven't been put under for; ingrown toenails and removal of my melanoma in my boob.
48. I always want to call and donate money when I see the staving kids in Africa commercials, but never do.
47. I HATE writing in cursive, my penmanship sucks
46. Instead of writing this, I should be reading my schoolbooks.
45. I love the smell of fresh cut grass and dryer sheets.
44. I love to read, when I read a book (not school books) I usually can't put it down and will finish it in 1-2 days.
43. Bad spellers make me crazy.
42. The phone ALWAYS rings when I am trying to take a nap.
41. Popcorn and snowcaps together is my favorite thing to get at the movies.
40. I can't believe how many people have never donated is SO important.
39. When I was kid I had 13 barbies and 2 Ken's. Ken was always naked and making out with one of the barbies. I also used to LOVE to cut off their hair.
38. I am ALWAYS cold, even when it 80 degrees. Something is wrong with me!
37. I have a love/hate relationship with my scale, I weigh myself 3 times a week and am usually discouraged.
36. I too wish could be one of those girls with funky style, but I'm not. I've tried, but I fail miserabely and end up looking like a "tried" too hard.
35. I can't type well, but I can use the number section and the numbers on a calculator with my eyes closed and come out 99% perfect everytime.
34. I've always wanted to learn how to ride a unicycle.
33. Why is it, that I can rollerskate, but I can't rollerblade for the life of me. I can skate, but I can't stop, so I am afraid to try them again.
32. I buy scratch off lottery tickets and always dream about what I would do with the $$ before I scratch them off. I never win...but I'll keep buying them and dreaming of what I would do with the cash.
31. I love to watch love stories.
30. I convinced my hubby to go to yoga with me and now he goes all of the time and I NEVER go. I feel so fat and out of shape when I go.
29. I hate low rise pants and seeing other people's buttcrack, it is so disgusting.
28. I wish it were warm enough in Michigan to wear flip-flop all of the time.
27. I LOVE peanutbutter and nutella sandwiches.
26. If someone asks me ONE MORE TIME, when I am gonna have kids I am gonna scream. Like it is not obvious that I am busting my ass right now with nursing school and 2 jobs, yeah lets add a baby into that mix right now...I don't think so, use your flipping heads people!
25. I have never had a "buzz" when drinking. I drink, drink, drink feel nothing and then BAM drunk off my ass.
24. I pick my nose all of time, but only in the privacy of my own home.
23. When I graduate from school and I get a job, I am going to get the "model" teeth I have always wanted.
22. I'll never understand the freaky-deaky people who mutilate themselves and expect not to have people stare at them or expect that they can live a normal life.
21. When I hear words to love songs...I always wonder if anyone has ever felt that way about me.
20. I can't jump into a pool without plugging my nose.
19. I hate filing my bills.
18. I am one of those people that NEED to be needed by other people.
17. I think watermelon with the seeds tasted better than the ones without.
16. I love most reality TV. I especially love, ANTM, Project runway, Survivor, Amazing Race, Dancing with the Stars and Top Chef.
15. I hate to Floss my teeth, my gums always bleed.
14. I am a clutter-aholic and am trying super hard not to be, it's SO hard. I am sentimental and don't want to throw anything away.
13. I want to get a dog when I am done with school and can me home more.
12. The smells of baby powder, pachouli, celery and cucumber melon make me want to gag.
11. I have never learned how to swim with the right technique, but I can swim 3/4 of mile across a lake.
10. My feet fall alseep when I use the ellipitcal, bike or treadmill.
9. I love old things, old cars, music, people, clothes and stories. I think growing up in the 60's would have been fun.
8. I love to shop. Although I often buy things that I don't need because they are "on sale". I hate returning things to the store.
7. I almost cry everytime I see a mom with a child that has a disease, because I know how hard it must be for her and how hard that child's life is. Everytime I see one, I give them that "knowing" smile, in order to fight back my tears, then I have to look away or I'll lose it.
6. The Giving Tree is one of the best books ever written. There is so much be to learned from that children's book.
5. I love going to the Salvation Army stores and garage sales, to see what people get rid of.
4. My house is humble and looks lived in. I hate when you go to someone's house and there is nothing to look at. Its like where is your stuff? I know you have "stuff" somewhere. It makes me feel uncomfortable in a house like that. Its like they have something to hide.
3. One of my girlfriends and I have always said that we want to write a book for Men about what women really want. Someday we will...
2. As I get older, the less tolerant I get of others.
1. Someday when I am old and my children are grown, I will join the peace corp.