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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Struggling to find balance

Work has been a bunch of drama of sorts lately and I am having a hard time trying to find some balance. For the past few days I have been felt literally nauseous when driving into work because I have no idea what will be there waiting for me when I show up.
I personally haven't been having a problem with a co-worker, but I am having a problem with things that, that person has done (or what it looks like she has done). I have had to speak with a supervisor about it and that in turn also makes me very uncomfortable. I don't want to be confronted about the other person and I am worried that it might come down to just such a thing. I am not ready to handle that along with all of the other responsibilities that I have at work and I don't feel like I should have to. No more drama is all I want. I realize that it is highly unlikely that a "no drama" zone at work will EVER be in effect, but one can hope.
It would all be just so much easier, if people did the "right" things and then I wouldn't have to worry about it. I have learned in the past few weeks about how important it is for us nurses to stick together and have each other's backs, but where do I draw the line? My own personal ethics have now played a part and I am not able to support one such person and the decisions that they have decided to make. I don't want to be "outed" in the workplace, but the actions of someone else could directly affect me and I couldn't just let it go without saying something. In the end, it is my integrity and my license at stake and I have to look out for #1 right now. I need to feel less guilty for the decisions someone else had made and feel good about the one's I have made. I did the right thing...but why does it make me feel so bad?

1 comment:

Kristi said...

Seems to me that people shouldn't ask you to put yourself in a situation that could jeopardize things you've worked so hard to accomplish. I believe, especially lately, that following the straight path, the morally & ethically correct path, is going to be what makes you live a life that you can be proud of. Don't feel bad chickie, things will work out!