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Friday, March 21, 2008

Lost and found

Well it seems like my life is spinning out of control these days. I have the weight of what feels like world on my shoulders, please give me anymore, I don't think I can handle another ounce!
Here is an update for all of you. Last week my husband left and said that he needed some space. I was torn apart, what horrible timing in my life. I felt like I could barely move. Let's see how much stress Amy can possibly handle? Like full time nursing school and two jobs isn't enough.
Now my brain is buzzing, when is gonna come back home?
Well he did come back home yesterday...but it was only for a moment. And its game over...I lose. I lose everything. He wants a divorce. He feels like he is holding me back and that he just can't do this anymore.
I can't afford to stay in the house, but I have no where I can really go. I can't afford my own place, I have too much stuff to comfortably stay anywhere that has offered and I hate relying on other people for too much.
My BFF Cori offered me room at her house and also offer me the ability to store whatever I want in her basement...I have so much stuff, it isn't even funny. I really don't think she even has the slightest idea of how much is really is. After being married for 5 years and living on your own for a little while before that, you tend to accumulate things, lots of things. Or at least I do. I am attached to things as well, which makes it so hard to get rid of them. I love her to death for being so supportive, but I feel bad about wanting to take it too.
I'd love to stay with my folks (which is what may happen during the weekdays) but there really isn't much room for me there. My mom is a pack rat like me and the spare rooms are stuffed to the gills with stuff. Maybe the need for "stuff" is genetic. My great grandma had a ton of stuff when they cleaned out her house. My aunt I think is the queen of "stuff".
So I have packed up a few boxes of my "stuff" and its killing me. This is my house, my home, my place and I am sad. Smudge and I will make it, but it is going to be the hardest year of my life. There is so much pressure on me now to be successful with school, I almost can't handle it. Please please please pray for me or for whatever you can, I need all of the help and strength I can get in these next few months.

5 comments:

Rachel D said...

Hey Amy. This is Rachel, from the whores a long time ago, if you remember. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Just remember that you are a strong person and you will get through this in time. Focus on yourself, your schooling and those that will support you.

Kelly said...

I'll bet you a dollar Misty says to pack up all your scrap stuff and send it to her..lol

Amy Amy...You know we love you and you are so strong you will get through this and be a better person for you. I'm here if you need anything

Kristi said...

Life is a funny thing, but everything happens for a reason. You're smart and strong, you'll be just fine I have no doubt. And in the mean time, all of the whores are here for you!

Misty said...

kelly is such a whore...but you know that already!! If i was you I'd make her pay you that dollar she bet you! I haven't even been using my scrap stuff, why would I want yours.

I heart you and know we are here for you. that is one negative to internet friends....we are too far apart!

Michelle said...

Oh Amy, I'm sorry to hear that you have been thrown another challenge right now. I know you are strong and this will make you stronger. Sending hugs and love your way.