dots

Friday, December 11, 2009

Game over...

Well its official, its over.
I am heart broken and sad, but I'll get over it.
Why when a relationship ends, do we beat ourselves up? I have spent the last few sleepless hours trying not to beat myself up, because there really wasn't much I could do to save this one.
People just want different things out of relationship and in the end, Joe doesn't want what I want. I want to get married, have babies, be a fantastic mom, love my kids to pieces, cherish my husband, be excited to see/talk to him everyday, start holiday traditions with my own family and treasure the time I have with them, everyday. I want the goofy stuff, like card nights with my man and his friends, lazy sunday's in bed, a vacation for two, holding hands in public, a tight squeeze in the kitchen, dinner parties with friends, birthday's with family and a kiss before bed.
I had him up an such a pedestal, because he was perfect, at least he was in my eyes. I laughed at his grossness, smiled at his OCD-ness, wondered about his obsession with cars and loved watching him get ready for work in the morning.
He should be flattered that I wanted to be with him and have his kids...someday. Isn't that ultimately the best compliment you can pay anyone?
Ah well, I'll keep looking.
Til then I'll be wallowing in a little of self-pity and listening to sad songs on my ipod.

3 comments:

Misty said...

Everything happens for a reason. People come into our lives for either 1)a season 2)a specific reason or 3)a lifetime--these are rare! Take what you learned about yourself and what your looking for and be happy for YOU!

Miss ya you WHORE!

Teresa said...

aaww, it does suck, but soon you won't be sad, cause the hurt and sadness does eventually go away, but for now.... totally listen to sad songs on the pod, eat some junk food, and do something nice for yourself.

Don't beat yourself up about it. You will find someone who wants all the things you do :)

Michelle said...

I'm sorry that things didn't work out but glad that you found this out before you already had a kid and then have this happen. Lots of hugs!