The other day a friend of mine told me she was concerned about me because I rebound too quickly. I supposed that I do, but I know when things are going bad and I put up an emotional barrier around me and let nature take its course. I suppose that I really knew that things were going bad with Joe and I months ago so I put up the wall. I didn't want to get hurt any worse than I knew was likely to happen. Boy, I sure am going to miss him. Bygones.
Now that I am a free woman and I am searching again. Why not? What is the glory of being single going to do for me? My friends have encouraged to get out there and just "mess around", but that's not me, never has been and never will be. I was expressing concern about my "numbers" already with some co-workers in one of our infamous candid latenight discussions and the more I think about it, the "number" bothers me. It is higher than I'd like it to be (and according to most of standards of my friends, I have nothing to even be worried about) and the thought of jumping back into the dating pool and trying out another relationship and potentially adding to the numbers scares the crap out of me. I don't want that. I never wanted that. I just want to get married and have babies and be happy. I want all of that stuff that comes along with being married. I want to find my best friend, a lover and a companion, all wrapped into one. Is that too much to ask?
So now I am moving on, looking for someone who wants what I want and enjoys things that I do. Someone who can epxress themselves and let me know what they are thinking and feeling. Someone who is loyal, confident and funny.
I am also literally moving as well and am looking forward to starting out the new year with a clean slate. I am all giddy about picking out dishes and rugs for my new place. I am excited to unpack all of the boxes that have been in storage for a year and half. It feels like it will be a great treasure hunt. I can't wait. Only 8 days away now! Feels like I need to do more shopping for my new place!
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2 comments:
I hope you have a wonderful time shopping for things for your new place. Sounds like an exciting new start.
As much as I hate moving, setting up shop in a new place all your own is such a fantastic feeling. Especially the way your last couple of years have been I bet next year is going to be wonderful...new career, new place...I'm excited for you! :)
On another note though, it is hard departing from someone you've spent so much time with. You and Joe were cute. But you'll find someone you're even better with fo sho. AND when that one enters your life you'll forget all about everyone else....
Hugs whore!
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