Stop the Insanity!!!

So I have spent the past 2 weeks doing my clincial rotation at a Psychiatric hospital. It has been interesting to say the least.
I have had some very friendly and indepth conversations with lots of patients and i am suprised at how willing they are to share. Their honesty is almost too much to take sometimes.
I was a believer at first that a lot of mental illness was just that, all in their heads, but after spending some time in a facility it isn't. I truly believe that a lot of it is biological. But should they all be put on drugs? Shouldn't we all be put on some types of drugs?
I'll be one of the 1st people to admit that I get depressed, I get angry and I have self esteem issues, but isn't that normal to some extent?
We are all crazy, some of them just hide better than other's I suppose.

100 Things about me

100. Pink is my favorite color
99. I love doing home improvement projects
98. I don't care WHICH way the toilet paper rolls goes on the roll, just as long as gets put back on.
97. I am a horrible typist
96. I love to pick up corn with my mashed potatoes and eat them together.
95. I am scared that I will die young of heart disease or cancer
94. I can't ever fall asleep in bed if I don't go to bed before my husband.
93. I hate most vegetables
92. I can put my whole fist in my mouth
91. My cat can always make my day brighter
90. Licking envelopes is hella nasty
89. I want to be a size 12
88. I fear that I am turning into my mother
87. Scrabble is one of my favorite games
86. I love hanging out with my grandparents
85. I have a potty mouth that is very hard to control and I randomly drop the "f" bomb without even realizing that I do it.
84. I can swallow pills without anything to drink
83. Not that I ever want anything to happen to anyone in my family, but I dream about the day when I can start my own family traditions for the holidays.
82. I love the sun, but am afraid to go out in it after my melanoma scare.
81. When I think about eating meat, it makes me want to cry...so I don't think about it and enjoy my hamburger.
80. I sniff my nose after I am done sneezing, that's when you can tell I am done with my sneezing attack. Hold the bless you's until you hear the sniff.
79. Cracking my knuckles make my hands feel good.
78. I wish my mother would quit smoking and be more concerned about her health.
77. When I fight with my husband I HAVE to win, I am mean and bring up all kinds of things that are irrelevant.
76. I want to go on a romantic vacation and kiss under a waterfall.
75. Credit cards are NOT good for me to have.
74. I can't refrain from biting into hard candies or suckers.
73. Pizza is the perfect food, I could eat it everyday for the rest of my life.
72. I wish I had long skinny fingers, instead of chubby stumpy ones.
71. I swear at everyone when I am driving in the car.
70. Texting seems so impersonal, just call me damn it, it takes me 5 minutes to type 3 words.
69. I HATE putting on lotion, it feels so gross.
68. I wish it was acceptable to walk around without shirts like men do, what's the big deal, they are just boobs.
67. Losing 30 pounds, seems impossible, but I HAVE to do it, I hate being labeled as Obese, i'd be fine with overweight. I think the BMI chart is crap, I'll never be 110 lbs.
66. I wear a size 9 shoe, shouldn't I be taller than 5'2"?
65. I love pictures, taking them, looking at them, being in them...I have a poor memory and they help me relive the fun times.
64. I love the smell of Stayzon Black ink pads...everyone thinks I am hella weird because of this.
63. I love to bake...but never do anymore because my husband thinks carbs are the devil.
62. I love that I have "special" activities that I can do with both of my parents. My mom loves to stamp and scrap with me and My dad and I love to go biking riding and walking together. I call each of them separate things like daddy daughter princess time and mom and princess time.
61. Gardeing in the summer is one of my favorite things to do. I don't really like getting all dirty, but I love the result of all of the pretty flowers.
60. Given the opportunity, I could stay up all night playing scrabble or pinochle online.
59. I am obsessed with lip balm of any kind whether it be chapstick, bonnie bell or carmex.
58. One day I hope to travel to Asia.
57. I wish I knew how to put on make-up well. I love how dramatically makeup can change the way a person looks.
56. When I laugh a lot I have to use an inhaler because I can't breathe.
55. I always notice a flaw about someone 1st off rather than noticing the good things about them.
54. I tear up when someone wins a lot of money on a game show.
53. Someday, I hope to have 3 kids. I think I will be an awesome mom.
52. I have vowed to NEVER own a minivan.
51. I am a nursing student at OCC and I will graduate in May of 2009!!!
50. I can't get my nails to grow long at all, they are very weak and bend when you touch them.
49. I have had 9 surgeries in my life in which I have been put under; my gall bladder, a double bunionectomy on my feet, my tonsils, girly stuff, my wisdom teeth, bone marrow donor, my outie belly button popped and needed to turned to an innie, tubes in my ears, which would fall out and also needed to be surgically removed.
I've had 2 that I haven't been put under for; ingrown toenails and removal of my melanoma in my boob.
48. I always want to call and donate money when I see the staving kids in Africa commercials, but never do.
47. I HATE writing in cursive, my penmanship sucks
46. Instead of writing this, I should be reading my schoolbooks.
45. I love the smell of fresh cut grass and dryer sheets.
44. I love to read, when I read a book (not school books) I usually can't put it down and will finish it in 1-2 days.
43. Bad spellers make me crazy.
42. The phone ALWAYS rings when I am trying to take a nap.
41. Popcorn and snowcaps together is my favorite thing to get at the movies.
40. I can't believe how many people have never donated blood...it is SO important.
39. When I was kid I had 13 barbies and 2 Ken's. Ken was always naked and making out with one of the barbies. I also used to LOVE to cut off their hair.
38. I am ALWAYS cold, even when it 80 degrees. Something is wrong with me!
37. I have a love/hate relationship with my scale, I weigh myself 3 times a week and am usually discouraged.
36. I too wish could be one of those girls with funky style, but I'm not. I've tried, but I fail miserabely and end up looking like a "tried" too hard.
35. I can't type well, but I can use the number section and the numbers on a calculator with my eyes closed and come out 99% perfect everytime.
34. I've always wanted to learn how to ride a unicycle.
33. Why is it, that I can rollerskate, but I can't rollerblade for the life of me. I can skate, but I can't stop, so I am afraid to try them again.
32. I buy scratch off lottery tickets and always dream about what I would do with the $$ before I scratch them off. I never win...but I'll keep buying them and dreaming of what I would do with the cash.
31. I love to watch love stories.
30. I convinced my hubby to go to yoga with me and now he goes all of the time and I NEVER go. I feel so fat and out of shape when I go.
29. I hate low rise pants and seeing other people's buttcrack, it is so disgusting.
28. I wish it were warm enough in Michigan to wear flip-flop all of the time.
27. I LOVE peanutbutter and nutella sandwiches.
26. If someone asks me ONE MORE TIME, when I am gonna have kids I am gonna scream. Like it is not obvious that I am busting my ass right now with nursing school and 2 jobs, yeah lets add a baby into that mix right now...I don't think so, use your flipping heads people!
25. I have never had a "buzz" when drinking. I drink, drink, drink feel nothing and then BAM drunk off my ass.
24. I pick my nose all of time, but only in the privacy of my own home.
23. When I graduate from school and I get a job, I am going to get the "model" teeth I have always wanted.
22. I'll never understand the freaky-deaky people who mutilate themselves and expect not to have people stare at them or expect that they can live a normal life.
21. When I hear words to love songs...I always wonder if anyone has ever felt that way about me.
20. I can't jump into a pool without plugging my nose.
19. I hate filing my bills.
18. I am one of those people that NEED to be needed by other people.
17. I think watermelon with the seeds tasted better than the ones without.
16. I love most reality TV. I especially love, ANTM, Project runway, Survivor, Amazing Race, Dancing with the Stars and Top Chef.
15. I hate to Floss my teeth, my gums always bleed.
14. I am a clutter-aholic and am trying super hard not to be, it's SO hard. I am sentimental and don't want to throw anything away.
13. I want to get a dog when I am done with school and can me home more.
12. The smells of baby powder, pachouli, celery and cucumber melon make me want to gag.
11. I have never learned how to swim with the right technique, but I can swim 3/4 of mile across a lake.
10. My feet fall alseep when I use the ellipitcal, bike or treadmill.
9. I love old things, old cars, music, people, clothes and stories. I think growing up in the 60's would have been fun.
8. I love to shop. Although I often buy things that I don't need because they are "on sale". I hate returning things to the store.
7. I almost cry everytime I see a mom with a child that has a disease, because I know how hard it must be for her and how hard that child's life is. Everytime I see one, I give them that "knowing" smile, in order to fight back my tears, then I have to look away or I'll lose it.
6. The Giving Tree is one of the best books ever written. There is so much be to learned from that children's book.
5. I love going to the Salvation Army stores and garage sales, to see what people get rid of.
4. My house is humble and looks lived in. I hate when you go to someone's house and there is nothing to look at. Its like where is your stuff? I know you have "stuff" somewhere. It makes me feel uncomfortable in a house like that. Its like they have something to hide.
3. One of my girlfriends and I have always said that we want to write a book for Men about what women really want. Someday we will...
2. As I get older, the less tolerant I get of others.
1. Someday when I am old and my children are grown, I will join the peace corp.

Stop and get off of the roller coaster

So what is the deal! I have been going to school for 3 months and I can't stop thinking about even though I am done with the semester. I swear it feel a little anxious. I worry and think about things I should be doing, even though I have no homework or books to read. Its like I just CAN'T sit still. My mind is a buzz about about care plans, patients and medical terminology. When I do sit for a moment, it just doesn't feel right. I am paranoid that I missing something, something that I forgot to do like oh crap, was I supposed to watch a technique video or whatnot. It is super annoying.

FemPop Day

My mind is still buzzing thinking about the awesome day that I had yesterday! Our nursing instructors arranged for us to go down to the OR and see what is going on. I got to witness a Femoral Popliteal Bypass Surgery standing a foot from the table! It was so cool.
For all of you that are not familiar with the human body, I've included a diagram of the leg. The femoral artery starts around your hip and the popliteal starts by your knee. We were sent down to the OR at 7:30 for some orientation and met a wonderful lady named Sharon! She was the best, it was clear that she loves what she does and loves to teach. She was a great help to all of us.
The 1st order of business...change into Surgical Scrubs...the green one like seen on TV and we had to put on one of those bonnet caps. We looked so professional!
2nd order of business...a tour of the place. We saw the in and out of the OR. I was amazed at the size difference in a regular OR room compared to that of a Cardiac OR room. Not only was there a huge size and equipment difference, but a huge difference in temperature as well. Brrr....they keep the Cardiac rooms chilly.
3rd order of business...what kind of surgeries were we all going to see? Out of the group of 6 students, I was the only one that was not hankering to see an Open Heart Surgery (I'd love to see one, but as my 1st experience, I didn't think I could handle that just yet). The other 5 students drew numbers and 2 of them got to get in on the open heart. I got the Fem-Pop.
Before entering the room in my fancy surgical scrubs, I had to wear a mask. There was no need to be gloved, since I was just in there for observation. I started out about 2 foot from the table and couldn't see much of what was going on. So after about 10 minutes, I grabbed a platform and scooted in closer so I could get a look a what was going on.
My eyes got all wide watching the 1st cut on the leg (which was right above the knee), it cut just like butter. Then he (the surgeon) used a large clamp like thingy and spread open the skin and boom he was inside the leg, look for the popliteal artery. I thought he wasn't ever going to get there, it looked as if his whole hand was inside of her leg digging around. There wasn't as much blood as I thought there would be.
After he found the artery, he snipped it and clamped it off. He did some repairs to it to try and free the blockage. He decided that he would need an artificial graft to re-route the artery.
Then he move up the leg to the groin and made an incision there as well. After snipping and clipping away, he made it to the artery. This artery I could actually see because the surgical students/interns heads weren't in my way...I must say it looked nothing like I had imagined it. It kind of looked like a rubber tube. When he snipped that one, blood was gushing out of it like a squirt gun...with every pulse it spurted up about 3 to 4 inches...then they clamped that off too. He went to work on clearing that artery as well. Once he was finished he went back down to the knee.
He attached a graft to the artery, which to me looked like a bendy straw...except the whole thing was like a the bendy part. It had like ridges in it, almost resembling a telephone cord too. He stitched it to the artery and then went back up to the groin with a long metal wand. The wand looked like those really long knife sharpening tools that chefs use in restaurants. He went in her groin and "tunneled" all of the way down to her knee (that was the only part that made my heart skip a beat). He then attached the already attached graft to the rod and pulled it up under the skin (actually under the adipose tissue and the muscle I believe) and then attached it to the other artery with stitches as well.
The nurse then brought over a Doppler and we listened for blood flow. It sounded like the whoosh whoosh of baby heart beat ultrasound, but WAY louder. Then the surgeon left, he left the student/intern close her up. She had 3 layers of inner stitches and then staples. At that point I had been standing on my little stool for 2.5 hours and I had to go to lunch...they were just starting to stitch up the upper leg when I left. I wish I could have seen the patient after recovery.
It was such a cool day! I am so glad I had to opportunity to see such a thing.

Turkey Smurky

AH Thanksgiving....
This year it will be at our house for the 1st time ever. I am so afraid, I've never cooked a Turkey. Good thing, this was Chris' idea and he's gonna cook the turkey. I'll handle the simple stuff like yams (gross) and green bean casserole.

Looks like we might have a few orphans this year at our house. I can't imagine not having a family around to go to. Not that I mind in the least having people over, I just think it'd be sad to not have any family nearby. The more the merrier I say. Come hang out with the crazy Polacks!

Chris decided that after dinner we will watch some Christmas movies. I hope Elf makes the cut, it is one of my favorites of all time. It will be SO weird to not have to go ANYWHERE on a holiday...i just don't know what I am gonna do with myself.

I am an addict

Ok, maybe it is time for me to admit that somewhere down there, I have an addictive personality. I've been denying it for years, but I am an addict.
My latest addiction, which is turning into an ugly monster is fafarazzi. Its like fantasy football with celebrities. You draft them and trade them when they aren't scoring you many points. I had read about it on a news blurb a while back and decided to check it out. Man oh man, is it addicting. The desire to win my league is what motivates me, if I am not in at keast 4th place, I keep messing with my team to get a higher score. Now before all of this fafarazzi business, I wasn't very interested at all in the lives of celebrities. But now I can tell you who's in jail, who's got a DUI, who's having a baby and who is getting together. And whether I want to admit it or not, I can tell you all about the ups and down of brittney spears. She is such a train wreck. Sadly, i can't manage my time well enough to do household chores, but I can park my hiney in front of my computer to check my fafa teams everyday....how sad is that!

Stressed out to the max...

So I would consider myself a pretty tough cookie. I generally roll well with the punches and shrug things off. But I am super duper frustrated with school.

Last week we started our Acute Care Clinical rotation and it was tough. So tough that on my 2nd day, I cried all of the way home and wanted to quit. I know, that's so not like me. Which is exactly why it is so hard. I feel so unprepared to even be in the hospital. I feel like I haven't learned any skills and that I am just plain old lost.

So here is how my crappy ass day went. Our 1st day at the hospital was Thursday. We got oriented to the hospital, out instructors and to the floor that we'd be working on. It was all talk talk talk so it was pretty tiring. After lunch, were assigned our patients for the next "2" days. Awesome. Right away I began the work that I needed to complete. I looked through my patients chart and gathered all of the info that I needed to get familiar with him. I had even begun to think about what I was going to go for a care plan. I went in to meet him and it was all good. He couldn't speak, so I couldn't get any info from him. It was going to be strictly me and the charts, no problem, I could had that. We only had about an hour or so to look at the charts and gather the information. I got the bulk of what I needed, I could get the rest the next day.

Well surprise, surprise....I am the only person out of our group of 6 that's patient left the floor. On Friday morning, I was assigned a new patient, I had to start all over from scratch.

Ok cool, I can handle that. Starting over from scratch, no big deal. Deep breath, dive into the chart. New patient, not as many issues as the last one I had, so its looking good. Strike 2...my new patient has already received AM Care (bed bath, changing the sheets, oral care), my instructor gives me another patient to do that for. I am supposed to gather my supplies and meet her in the room. I feebly attempt to get some info on this patient...I don't even know his name or why he's there. Well she's rushing me because we are on a tight schedule and I go in pretty much blindly. Lucky me (and lucky her I might add), I get paired up to do this AM care with another girl who has absolutely no experience (just like me). Mind you, there are 4 other people in our group who all work in a patient care settings, but that's cool pair up the two "green" girls who have absolutely no idea what they are doing, we will do the best we can. We gather up our stuff and we start our care. Surprise patient is roughly 300 lbs, short of breath, has an NPO (no food) tag on his door. NPO?, I think, why does he have a breakfast tray? I ask the nurse and she says its OK for him to have food.

We do the bath to the best of our abilities. He can't lift his leg for us to soak his feet, he can turn for us to wash his back, he's breathing so heavily I was starting to get nervous. Surprise, we roll him, he has a fecal back and it is leaking all over the place. Argh...now what do we do. We get our instructor and he helps turn him so I can clean him up (now its not pleasant to clean up a person, but it really doesn't bother me). Well i was expecting a bed bath, not to have to use 20 wash clothes to quite literally clean up all of that poop. I definitely wasn't prepared. When the instructor came in she was all disappointed with us. We weren't doing the bath properly, we didn't have the soiled linen bag prepared, we didn't have all of the answers she wanted. Now it was time to change his bed which became another task. I didn't have the bed high enough to use proper body mechanics (but I did, my instructor is like a foot taller than me) , I didn't use proper asepsis (clean technique) and I didn't know how to change a gown with an IV. I KNOW how to change a gown with an IV, but not an IV that is running through an infusion pump. Finally we got out of that guys room. The PCA comes by and reminds me that I need to get rid of the soiled linen. Ooops! I put it in the wrong room. I put it out for the garbage, not for the soiled linen. No biggie, I go garbage picking and put it where it needs to go.

Huge SIGH!!!

Now I can get to MY own patient. I go in to see her, she's totally zonked out. I try to wake her, but she's not responding. I tell her that I need to get get vitals (like she can hear me) and I proceed with getting them. Not too bad. I had to get her temperature under her arm, because she was not awake/alert enough for me to get it orally. While she's sleeping I do my baseline assessment to the best of my ability. I get about 80% of it done, I can get the rest when she's awake. I report to my instructor the vitals and she has me contact the nurse for my patient because she has a fever. I find him and we go in the room. She's still zonked out, but we (actually, he the RN) needed to do a neurological check on her. She shook her arm, poked her in the chest to get her to awake up. After a few very "rough" tries, she was wearily awake. So response to any questions except her name...which was VERY hard to understand. I watch him do the neurocheck and then get pulled away from my patient to go help another student do her AM care on her patient. I reported my vitals to my instructor and got grilled on why I didn't take the temp orally. Duh...I can't get my patient to open her mouth!

Good news, he's not 300 lbs, but he only has one leg, can't talk and can't move his right side. We can handle this. We get our supplies ready and in walks the RN and she needs to do the IV change...do do do do, we wait 15 minutes for then to get all of their stuff done and we can finally begin. It going well, no issues. We are doing a bath like we learned in the lab. But of course, there is a problem...of course there is a problem. He has a brief and its full. I never learned how to change a brief so I have no idea how is the best way to do it. Poor guy has 2 amateurs that have no clue working on him. We undo the brief and we can't get it off, the tape is sticking to his skin. So now we are all concerned about his skin because that one of the biggest issues we've learned about in class. We don't want to pull too hard and tear his skin, but we can't get this sucker off. We HAVE to find SOMEONE that can help us. Hooray, we find a nurse to come to our rescue and help is out. But alas, our troubles aren't over, we start making his bed and we can't get the sheets to go on. Now the patient is getting irritated and we are feeling defeated. We both want to cry. And surprise...here comes our instructor its time for lunch and we need to hurry. I make light of the situation with the patient and tell him that he'll have a story to tell about the two dumb blonde's that can't even make his bed. He smiles and it makes me feel better.

Finally with a lot of muscle, we tug and pull the sheets on and get the bed made. We thank the patient for being so agreeable and we promise not to bug him anymore for a few hours.

Hallelujah....its lunchtime. HUGE SIGH!!!

After lunch its back at it. I need to get vitals again. I go in and my patient is now awake. Poor thing is so confused. I smile at her and ask her if I can get her temperature. She nods her head yes...but I can't get her to open her mouth. I try for 10 minutes asking her and demonstrating what I want her to do, but she's not responding. So I go for the underarm again. I report my finding to my instructor and again I get grilled about the axillary temp reading. Do you think if I could have gotten the temp orally, I would have? Then I could save myself the BS, from you that I am going to have to listen to. She then asks me if I've moved my patient. No...I say, she's been just about comatose all day and you didn't want us to do a transfer without you there. She gives me that disappointed look again, GRRR. So we go into to move her and the patient just keeps saying, Ms., Ms, that hurts, like 50 times. I swear that was the only time I heard her talk all day and clearly for that matter. So as my instructor is pushing and pulling her, she keeps saying how badly it hurts. We roll her so I can see the ulcers she has on her back and she has a full brief. Hallelujah we were in a time crunch, so I just had to tell the PCA. But we didn't end up even turning the patient at all because it hurt her. It was about time for the day to be over and all we had left was post conference.

I cried all the way home, I felt so defeated. I hope it gets better and easier.