Being nurse in a nursing home has lead me to hear all kinds of funny stuff from the residents. I have been jotting them down since I started working. Here are a few:
After trying unsuccessfully to get a patient to take their meds, I heard them say "coax me and maybe I'll think about it".
Another patient has said multiple times "when I get outta here, I'm gonna put on my robe, grab that microphone and tell my story, cuz Jesus saved me."
Another patient had a doll on the bedside table for a few days and I inquired about it, the reply was "that's ugly, isn't she UGLY, that's why I named her that, cuz she's so ugly, I'm gonna put her in the ugly farm.".
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